Sunday, February 13, 2011

Crayola Friends

In light of the new year, and often before that, I've been thinking a lot about the different types of friendships I have in my life. I've become more aware of who is a true friend. About 2 years ago, I had this conversation with a very old (not old in age) and wise friend of mine, and we determined that our friendships can be compared to crayons.




There are all different colors and variations, but they all end up making the box complete. Lately, I've realized there are a few color friendships in my life, that aren't necessarily the right ones for me. Not that I want to trade them for other colors, I just need to discontinue those colors.




I try really hard to be a nice person, and a good friend to those around me. I always try to put others first, and I always taken in to consideration how my thoughts, words and actions affect those around me. I have different kinds of friendships, friends from work, friends from work who have become more than just in the "work friend" category, and that I can count on when I need someone to talk too. Old friends, new friends, Mom Friends, my walking buddy, my volunteering friends, my cohorts, friends I go to for parenting and relationship advice, or just to complain to each other! and so many others. What I realize, is that I have apparently been trying to hard to "prove" my friendships, and be there for others, and I've noticed that some of these don't do the same for me. I realize that some people have been pretending to be my friend, or even just an acquaintance, but yet criticize me behind my back, and talk about things they really have no knowledge of. I've decided, that I will no longer give those people the time of day. I am cutting the ties to that negative energy, and if they still feel the need to judge because of my lifestyle, or my economic status, then so be it. I feel sorry for those people that feel the need to belittle others to feel better about themselves. I am happy with the person I am, the person I'm becoming, and the life I live. I may not have all the things some consider necessary to classify being a good person, or worth their time, but I have what makes me happy and that's all that matters.






Friendship isn't about what you own, or what you can buy. It's about being there for others when they don't need you, and even more when you do. It's about being able to laugh together, and being able to be yourself, and not have to hide your true colors. It's about appreciating the people in your life, for what they bring to your life, and how they enrich it. It's about knowing that your friends will be there at 3 am when your feeling sad and lonely. It's about being able to call somebody last minute because you're in a pinch and need somebody to watch your kids, and they do it second nature without even thinking about it. Friendship is so much more than social class. It's hard for me to understand why some people feel that need to categorize people in that way. Sometimes the best friends you can have are the ones in low places like me....

DC WHAT!?


I want to write this, while the memory is still fresh in my brain, and before the overwhelming reality of life sets back in to my everyday routines. I just returned home from my trip to Washington DC to attend the National Head Start Leadership Institute. I was selected as 1 of 5  parents to attend the conference. It was quite possibly the most amazing week of my life. 5 days of learning, understanding more early learning issues, and advocating for children not only in my state, but those across the nation. I met Senator Patty Murray, Senator Maria Cantwell, and got to help them understand a little bit better how cuts that our government is trying to make to our state and federal budgets, will affect so many families. My fellow PA's and I, helped put a face to those services that are on the chopping block. 

One friend was a teenage mom, who had no idea how to manage a checkbook, a household and a baby at the age of 16 while trying to finish school. With the help of the Early Head Start program, she finished high school, got her AA and is now working on her BA. She is a small business owner, and the proud mom of 4 kids! 

Another was a recovering addict who spent over 20 years in and out of incarceration. He has now turned his life around, is a single dad and has helped start a Dad's group in his local town. He just recently became a homeowner. These are just a few of his accomplishments. 
There were 3 more stories from my fellow PA's, that tugged at your heart strings, but I would be here all day trying to recap it all. I got to tell the story of how Head Start helped diagnose Lauryn with hearing loss that was fixable, and not just a speech impediment. And how she no longer needs any special services because of the help and resources she had access to as a Head Start student. 

In our state, the Governor just proposed to cut the Working Connections Childcare Program. This will affect thousands of children and families in our state. We got the chance to let them know, that by reducing these subsidies, it will have an adverse effect on our economy. Those working poor in our state, will be turned in to unemployed workers and forced to draw from other state resources such as unemployment, TANF, Food Stamps and Medical. It doesn't make sense to not be PREVENTATIVE. Helping our lawmakers understand that we are REAL faces and not just numbers, was what we were there for. 

I truly believe that our voices were heard in every office we visited. 

Not only did we visit Capital Hill, we gave a presentation and helped facilitate another one on Advocacy, and getting parents involved in early learning issues. The more people that are aware that from birth to 3 is the most important part of a child's life, and what they can do to make those years the best, the better our future generations will be set up for success. I could go on and on. But I won't. I just want to share the video of my telling my story about Lauryn. It is emotional. Yes, I cried. Because if it weren't for this program, I don't know that my daughter would be the child she is today. A loud, boistourous, talkative, SMART girl who started kindergarten ahead of the curve, because of the comprehensive services and amazing preschool experience she had through Head Start. 

Some of my friends don't agree with these issues because of Political belief, some of ignorance, and some of just plain disagreeing. But I think anyone who listens to any of these stories will agree that to not support this program and other early learning programs like it, is just plain stupid. Children should be our priority, not just an afterthought. 

A Year In Parent Ambassadors.


WOW! How far I’ve come. One year ago I was submitting an application and applying to be a “Parent Ambassador”.  Today, I’m flying home from sharing the information I’ve gained with a group of parents on the other side of the country. I’m so thankful that Joel Ryan, Lori Pittman, and Katy Warren picked me as one of the PA’s for 2010!

I never knew being accepted in to this program would be so life changing. In one year, I’ve gone from being a behind the scenes, quiet observer to an advocate for myself, my family, and children and families all over the NATION! I’ve traveled across the United States twice to advocate for children and early learning. Once attending our nation’s capital and speaking to state representatives and department heads of office. Secondly, giving a presentation on HOW to advocate for yourself and your children.

I’ve done a lot this year. My first call to action was almost one year ago exactly. With little training on what I needed to do, I testified at the state level on the effects of cutting the Working Connections Childcare program, and against cutting 3 year old preschool in our state. I was terrified. Shaky and feeling like my heart was going to jump out of my chest, I did it. And I didn’t sound near as bad as I did in my own head after listening to it a few days later. That day was an ice breaker for me. I never knew I could have such a voice on important issues such as these. Now I’m teaching others how to find their own voices, and am actually looking forward to going back and testifying this year. These issues have become a part of me. Of who I am and the person I’ve become.

I’ve been interviewed by the newspaper. I was interviewed by King 5, on the same day as my dear friends memorial service. I had swollen red eyes from crying, and I looked like a train ran me over, but it was my only chance for them to fit me in to their schedule. So again, I gave my story on what would happen with such tremendous budget cuts in our state. I created a YouTube video ,  that we sent straight to the Governor’s office asking her not to take these actions.  The video went viral and now has over 500 views. Not half bad for just a message from the heart. I traveled to Washington D.C. to tell the amazing story of how Head Start helped my daughter to hear. I brought tears to people’s eyes with the message. I helped run a training for parents while in DC, on how to tell their stories. I recorded over 10 stories to send to Congress.

 I now sit on many amazing committees to give a parent voice to decisions being made all over our state. I’m on my counties Early Learning Committee, I am on the WaKids Kindergarten Readiness committee, that helped develop the program that is now being tested all over our state, and will report back in January to the legislature on how it has worked. It’s actually being tested in my own child’s Kindergarten class. I’m on the Head Start/ECEAP advisory committee. I’ve been invited to speak later this week to a group of parents who are interested in learning more about how they can make a difference.

I found the courage to run and be elected to be the president of my children’s elementary school PTO. I NEVER would have thought I would be where I am today. At this moment, I’m flying home from the East Coast, reflecting on the fact that I just presented a wealth of information to 25 other parents for 2 days. If only one of these parents takes the information and shares it or does something with it, I will have accomplished what I set out to do. (Since returning home, already two of the parents I trained this week have written letters to the editor and been published!)

The Parent Ambassador program has taught me a lot about politics, about legislation, about current issues and affairs, about how to be involved in gov’t and other local communities. It has taught me about friendships and provided me with some really great mentors. But most of all, it has helped me find myself, helped to find the passion inside of me that I always knew was there, but didn’t know how to use it. Because of my advocacy and involvement with Early Learning, I was offered a better paying job that I’ve now begun to make my career. I’m over halfway done with my Child Development Associate. Because of that and getting married and my husband getting a raise, our family is now self sufficient. We no longer receive Public Assistance of any kind. With 5 kids, that’s quite an accomplishment!  I can honestly say that even with all the trials and tribulations I’ve had this year; it has been one of the best years of my life.
Parent Ambassadors isn’t just a year-long advocacy training. It’s become a life changing, life-long part of me. I will never forget everything I’ve learned from the wonderful people who have mentored me this year, or the wonderful friendships I have made.

I’m sad my year of PA has come to an end. But even more excited to take the things I’ve learned and continue going onward and upward in advocating for children and families, and to passing along the torch of information to other parents to do the same!