Out of the Mouths of Babes

Usually car rides get pretty hectic in the morning when my kids are involved. There's usually a bit of yelling, a bit of whining, and a bit of screaming (mostly from the toddler who doesn't like his sisters to touch him in the car, which of course they insist on doing)..

Our mornings are most of the time chaotic, and it's something I'm going to focus on in the new year..

Anyway, this morning WASN'T one of those mornings. I took the day off to deal with some personal issues, so even though I had somewhere to be, it wasn't rushing to be out the door by 7:15. I took Ashley to school, and stopped and got my coffee. Lauryn, Logan and I hopped on the freeway and were driving to daycare. This morning, the Moon was still visible. Lauryn was actually enjoying the scenery outside of the car, taking in all the frost or as she liked to call it "snow" on the grass in the fields, and admiring the chilly effects in the air. Logan really likes the moon, so he spent the drive saying "Moon, Mommy, Moon!" and Lauryn replied, " I don't know why the moon is still up mommy, he should be sleeping, he's probably tired" I asked her why she thought the moon was tired, and she said "Because he was up all night mom!" ..

And then there's Ashley. My other brilliant child. I had to pick her up from school today, because she was supposed to have a counseling appointment. This morning the counselors' office called and cancelled the appointment. So since I was home, I chose to still pick her up and spend some one on one time with her. Her homework assignment for the counselor, was to come up with one word of emotion, for every letter of the alphabet. So last night, I helped her finish it up, she had already come up with all the words, so I helped her make a little book of emotions. I used some card stock, and a letter sticker for each letter, then we wrote the word, and hole punched the side, and tied it all together. It turned out really cute for only spending last night on it! Today, she took it to school so she would have it when I picked her up today to take with her to her appointment. She got to share it in her classroom, and was quite proud of it. One of the words she used was "O is for Optimistic". Each word she used, she had to know the definition of. So along with just knowing the word, I made her know what it meant. I had given her some help with the definition last night, giving her some examples. Well, today, one of the para's had asked her what it meant. She told her that she didn't really know and she had kind of forgot. So she said the para helped her by explaining the difference between Optimistic and Pessimistic. The para told her that Optimistic was when you are happy all the time, and Pessimistic when you say things like "i can't" all the time. So Ashley is telling me this story on the way home, and she says "Mom, which do you think I am? Optimistic, or Pestimistic?" I had to laugh out loud and she says "WHAT MOM?!, Which one do you think I am!?" I told her that I thought most of the time she is Optimistic, but sometimes she can be Pessimistic, and her sister probably thinks she PesTimistic.....

It's that time again.

I've been feeling this overwhelming anxiety lately. There are so many things I've attributed it to. The lack of money for the holidays, my suck ass job, my court stuff, Ashley's worthless father and all the crap emotion he brings to my life, things that I just can't stop worrying about or thinking about. That's me. I worry. I have anxiety. But lately, it seems to be more. And it's because it's that time again.

It seems like I'm beating the drum to death. And I try, I REALLY try not to think about it. But every year it's there. No matter the counseling, no matter how much I have "let it go", no matter how much I've forgiven. I can't forget. And as the day to be Thankful approaches, I get the urge to just want to hide away for the week, and come out when it's over. But I can't. I have children that I have to teach to be thankful. I have children that need to be surrounded with family and loved ones, during this holiday season. I can't be selfish. The one time I probably should be. I'm not.

9 years ago next week, I weakly tried to take my own life. Not because I was suicidal, not because I was depressed, not because of any of the "normal" thoughts that people who try to commit suicide have.. And when I think about it, I don't consider it trying to take my own life, I just wanted the pain to stop. The hurt.. I just didn't want to see it or feel it anymore. I won't go in to detail here because there are people who I've made amends with over the situation that deserve that respect. ( I think!)

In the last few months, I've finally gotten some closure on that situation..the sordid details of what I thought I saw compared to what "actually" happened.. so that's helped a little. But that night, I can replay in my head over and over like a rewind button. I can tell you how things smelled, I can tell you what everyone in the house that morning was wearing, I can see it SO vividly after all this time, that it just won't go away.

After my hysterical freak out I had over what I had stumbled upon looking for my husband in a zombie like sleep state, everyone left me in the house by myself. Traumatized. His family had been over visiting for the holiday, and they ALL left me, including my sister, and went to his cousin's house. I locked myself in the downstairs closet, and slit my wrists, swallowed a bottle of ibuprofen, along with some Nyquil, or some other generic brand of that stuff and whatever else I could find in the medicine cabinet.. I just wanted it all to stop. After not answering a few phone calls, one of them, *still not sure who* called the police to come and do a welfare check on me. So even though they'd all left me, apparently somebody cared or was worried. Because I had cuts in my wrist and had tried to hurt myself, the police had to take me and have me committed to the hospital psych ward. This was not a fun time for me. I was alone, I was hurt, and my husband didn't care. He said he wouldn't visit me in the hospital, because I had just done what I did for attention.

I never did it for attention. I never did it because I actually wanted to kill myself. My heart just hurt so badly, I wanted it to stop. I wanted those visions out of my head.

The hospital called my parents, and they had to drive across the state to come and get me. Somewhere in that madness, I had decided to go home, or maybe he told me I needed too..I don't remember exactly where the decision came from for me to go back home.. But the hospital had to have my parents consent to release me, and they had to sign something saying I would receive counseling at home.

I went to counseling. But my family pretended like nothing happened. I was living in the same house as my sister, who had just betrayed me in the ultimate way and I found it very hard to heal. I never recieved an apology from her, I never got a reason as to why she did it, except that night, when she said she "just wanted to be like me".. Imitation is the best form of flattery? Is that how it goes?

So every year around this time, I get anxiety. When my mom wants to do the family thing and have us all together, I just can't get excited about it. I dread it, and put it off as long as possible. I can't sleep at night, I have nightmares, I just don't feel right about spending the day with those people. I keep it pretty well hidden for the rest of the year, but when Thanksgiving comes around, I just don't feel like putting on a smiley face for everyone to see. It's a constant reminder of the pain I felt, and continue to feel for that betrayal. Not at my ex husband, but at my sister. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water.. but this blood isn't very thick..

I probably shouldn't have blogged this, although private, and only a few people can read it. But it actually feels good to get it out. To IDENTIFY my pain, and be ok with talking about it. It still hurts after 9 years..

will it ever go away?

The Reason

I had a life changing moment this week. A truly, satisfying moment. I don't even know if I can explain it. But this moment reminded me of why I do what I do, and is something to remind myself of when I'm having a stressful day or feeling unappreciated.

I'm the school MCEA Secretary (our form of a PTA), and I volunteer A LOT! My volunteer hat is a one I wear quite often. Often during big events at the school, or mostly leading up to those events, life can get pretty stressful. Not stressful to the point you want to quit, but sometimes a little more then most can handle. Juggling 3 kids, working full time, and managing to keep my house somewhat manageable is enough, add on all the extra stuff I take on, and it can be overwhelming at times. A few weeks ago, I planned the landscaping for the front of the school, and organized a work party to get it all planted. So I don't just volunteer, I volunteer BIG!

This week, I was in charge of the Book Fair, at my daughters school. It was the first book fair in our newly remodeled school library! It was in a central location, and not hidden away like the old library, and we did AWESOME! (We made over $3000, which computes to $1500 for the school for education materials from Scholastic). Anyway I was lucky, that this fair was successful. When I did the book fair before, I didn't work, so I could devote the time to it. Being a full time working mom, made it a lot of work to schedule it all, orchestrate it, and have it be successful. But with a great group of volunteers, I was able to pull it off. My wonderful moment came at the end of the fair, and it reminded me why I do what I do.

Earlier in the week, a young boy from our school had come in to the BookFair with his family in the evening. This boy is someone I see all the time, but don't get to interact with. I've only heard him say a few words, but have seen his emotions many times. The night I saw him with his mother visiting us, was the most I'd ever interacted with him. (Aside from the last book fair I did) He really likes the I SPY books. He was amazed by the posters on the wall, one in particular, a dinosaur. He really wanted the poster. I mean, he REALLY wanted the poster. The posters (in my opinion) are ridiculously over priced. Mom didn't buy it for him. He left the library, and he wasn't very happy about it. He came back in to the book fair later in the week with his teacher, and again, I watched him get excited at the "HORSE"...

Each day, we drew a name to raffle off one of the posters. The last day came and I was packing up the bookfair with a friend. I told him I'd be right back, and I took the dinosaur poster down and walked it to the his class room, and told the teacher I had the poster for him. She got him for me, and told him someone had something for him. When he saw that poster, his eyes lit up, and a smile so big graced his face. He kept calling it a horse, but then would "rawr" at the poster. He wouldn't stop "rawr-ing"!! Chills went through me at the site of his happiness and I really saw the difference I am capable of making.

I can't explain this moment in words. There are no words. I know that there were other people in the room that saw and understood the emotion I was feeling, and the emotion he was feeling. The poster is hung up in his room at school, and all this week it has been the highlight of his day when he gets there. His teacher has reassured me that it was the best moment he's had in a while, and the difference it makes in him. It was a totally self less moment, but made me feel so satisfied at the same time, to know that I made a difference.

Thinking about it brings a smile to my face, and it's a memory, I'm not soon to forget.

stuck in my own head

I'm so drained lately. I have no energy to burn, I feel like a caged hamster running in circles on the same squeaky wheel. And I'm going nowhere fast.

I feel selfish. I just want to be lost in my own thoughts. Not answer to anyone. I crave the silence. I've gotten myself into too many projects while trying to maintain my sanity and raise my children properly, making sure they are exposed to enough, able to be involved in extra curricular activities, being well taken care of, providing for them, and working towards giving them the best. Being supermom. I'm worn out, and I need a break, but I can't seem to stop.. Always going, never stopping..always somewhere to be and something to do.

And in it, I've kind of fallen in to a depression. With other things going on around me in my life, relatives being sick, not on good terms with my bio dad, being supportive to family and friends in need, emotionally I'm also worn out. No medical or dental, can't afford to fix my teeth which are causing me excruitiating pain, that I live with on a daily basis, too poor to afford to fix myself. The physical pain. Providing for my children first and foremost, and not in the way I had dreamed/hoped. I feel like a failure, and in trying to prove that I'm not, I've overwhelmed my own well being..

My job gives me stress, but I can't afford to walk away from it, and be home with my children again, where I want to be. I want to be more. I AM more...

And this court stuff I'm going through. I want it to go away, and I need to be pro active in it, and yet again, money is the issue. I'm so mentally drained..

why can't I just win the lottery?

Who knew life as a "lower class" mom would be so hard, and who knew I'd be one?

New Chapter

Lately I've felt a new wave of emotions that has come over me like a tidal wave. I would like to think that it's because Josh finally proposed, and it's like starting a new chapter. But I really don't think that is the reason. I believe that we've just reached a new threshold. We've been through so much in the last 3 years, that it's unbelievable we've made it this far, and overcome all adversity. A big part of me was starting to become remorseful, resentful, and just unhappy. I felt like we were just treading water. We were both unhappy, angry and upset at each other for so many different reasons. We've had a couple of big blow outs, at one point, he moved out. That was a huge eye opener for both of us. We realized that isn't what we wanted, and our family was the most important part of our lives. That neither of us REALLY wanted to be apart from each other. I think that time, just opened up some different lines of communication that we forgot existed. We've both hurt each other, in different ways, but we realized that the most important thing was that we love each other. If we'd made it through all the other rough patches (some that were much rougher than others), then why were we giving up so easily?
So we went to counseling, we learned to TALK to each other. One thing I'm constantly working on, is to not get so defensive all the time. It's one of my biggest downfalls of my personality. I've been that way my whole life for many different reasons, and it's just my natural reaction to take offense to things he says, whether they are directed towards me or not. He may just make a general statement, and I will think it's directed at me. That's been huge. And sometimes, he just needs to tell me to knock it off, and I'll snap out of it and realize what I'm doing. It's subconsciously, and sometimes I can't help it. So I'm working on being better about that. Anyway, in our new found form of communication, we realized that besides just loving each other, we really can tell each other anything. He is my best friend, and if I lost that, I just wouldn't be whole. I lost my best friend once before, and there's no way I'm going to lose Josh. He knows my inner most secrets, some of which are more hurtful to him then to me. But he continues to love me and ALL of my downfalls.
I grew resentful after being together for 6 years and him not being divorced. I did things to sabotage our relationship, whether I realized it or not, because taking that long really had it's emotional toll on me. Just him finalizing the divorce in the last few months has been a huge weight lifted off of both of our shoulders. More so then I ever really thought. I knew it affected us both, but not as much as it truly did. So we've moved on to a new chapter.
And just being not so selfish emotionally has had a huge difference in both of our lives. He has a hard time showing his emotions verbally. So while I know that he loves me, or that he was mad at me, he would just bottle it up, where as I have a hard time with physical emotion. It's not common practice for me to take him aside and just give him a hug and tell him I love him. I show love by doing things for the ones I love, not ever thinking that just saying I love you, or giving a hug sometimes means so much more. So while he's been working on just telling me how he feels, I've been working on not being so defensive about it, and showing the emotion I feel. It's made a huge difference in our relationship, that I've noticed, and it feels like we've finally reached a new level, not just idling by.
It's just nice knowing that we've reached that next chapter, and we really are intent on spending the rest of our lives together, and that we've worked so hard to make it to this point. We've been through more in our last 7 years together, then some couples go through in a lifetime, and we've made it..It's been hard, but we did it. And I'm looking forward more to the rest of my life then I ever have. I'm excited for what's to come, and having him spend it by my side. He is my rock and my strength, and I really don't know how I would ever do it without him.
He made a comment to me last night that really just put it all in to perspective. He said "We've had some bad times, but the times in between those times have been so good and full of laughter and smiles, that it makes it all worth while"... or something like that.
And those are my thoughts too. It's a great time in our lives, and I'm happy we've made it this far!!!

Spare the Rod..

If only corporal punishment were legal. I've been feeling like that a lot these days. I sware, my kids would respect me a WHOLE lot more. I know as a child, I was deathly afraid of my dad's leather belt. And the switches in the back yard, that I might have to go pick myself for a good switching.. My kids on the other hand, they just laugh at me when I tell them they are gonna get a spanking. In fact, Lauryn laughed at me the other day after I spanked her.. and I hurt myself even more then I ever thought of hurting her. I don't spank my children often. It takes a lot for me to do that. I think there are times when it is needed. Mostly in my house, as a wake up call, when I've run out of every other option.. to let them know I mean business. Not that my business hurts, like I said.. It ALWAYS hurts me more.. physically!!

I went to a Mindful Parenting class, to learn how to better handle my children when I'm frustrated with them. To be more conscious of my parenting, and to find other ways at handling them, because, what I'm doing, just doesn't seem to be cutting it. At least with my middle child. And at most, it taught me to take deep breathes, and walk away if needed. My children are still very young, but they are SO DAMN SMART!

Lately, Lauryn has been giving me some SERIOUS attitude. Not the kind of attitude her sister has, with the drama, and the "valley girl" attitude. I keep trying to tell Ashley, that she lives in McCleary, and not "Cali".. but whatever. She thinks her tractors sexy. Lauryn on the other hand, has straight up attitude. I can't tell whether it's her birth sign, Scorpio, or just her stubborn-ness, that she gets from her father. A combination of both, or just that she's got some straight up evil in her. But the girl thinks she can do whatever the hell she wants! I know a lot of it, she's getting from her "new school".. but criminy. I don't know how much more I can take. Lately, when I tell her no, or tell her that she can't ride her bike down the driveway without an adult, or some other irrational thing I won't let her do, she straight up screams at me, and makes a hissing sound. I sometimes think she might be a little possessed... Or she'll tell me that she hates me, and she "doesn't like my attitude".. The attitude of telling her NO that is..

Like Friday evening for instance, I was driving home from picking the kids up at daycare. I had to go to Olympia to pay a bill directly after that. We didn't get to go home first. And Lauryn was MAD about it. She wanted to go home and ride her bike. She didn't like my attitude, at that moment.. So she took it upon herself to take her empty cup, and throw it at the back of my head!! I wasn't mad, I didn't even yell or scream, I simply sat there in awe, that my child had just done it. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I was mad, nor did I want her to know that I thought it even a little bit funny.. mostly because I couldn't believe she did it. (go ahead, laugh out loud a little, you know you think it's funny too)..


I turned around and told her that it was unacceptable that she did that, and explained to her how she could of hurt me, and made us get in a wreck, you know, the RATIONAL way, if there is such a thing as explaining something rationally to a 4 year old. But I tried anyway, and I informed her that she would be going to her room when we got home, so she could think about the way she was acting. She responded by telling me that she didn't like my attitude. Big surprise there, eh?

And today, she was being mouthy in the back seat. Most kids, will mouth off to one parent, and know that it's DEFINITELY not ok to do it to the other i.e. DAD. But not Lauryn. She's got BALLS! She sat there, and I don't even remember what she was saying, but she was really getting under Josh's skin. We then started to talk about how we could deal with such a thing.. It's not like we can pull her over and beat her. It's not like we can do ANYTHING. The words we are using, AREN'T working, the punishments we use AREN'T working.. nothing works. She just doesn't care. She's the boss. Well, she thinks she is anyway.. I just feel like I'm at my wits end with her. Every button of mine, she knows how to push.. and push, and push.

So all the while she's being mouthy in the back seat, and Josh asked her if she needed an "attitude adjustment" aka, a spanking.. She replied, " I don't want a spankin.. I'll tell on you, and you'll go to jail!" WTF!? She's 4!!!

What on earth are we going to do when she's 14~!!

And that goes to show you what kind of society we live in. One where parents are AFRAID to touch their kids, and make them show some damn respect. She's 4. How on earth, does she know about people going to jail for abusing their kids. And she's FAR from being abused.. lol. Spare the rod, spoil the child. yep, that's my kid..

I'm a young parent, but a pretty good one, if I don't say so myself. I'm really hoping it's just a phase she's going through, but Lord help me. My strong willed 2nd born child, I sware, is going to be the death of me.. If she doesn't send me to jail first..

Lead me not in to temptation.

How does that quote go? Lead me not in to temptation; I can find the way myself". I like that one. I always find it, or it finds me. It's lurking around every corner, in every shadow, and once every fleeting moment of 15 seconds. It's there. It's always there. It's like this drug, it's addicting. I can't get enough, but it makes me even sicker in the end. I've never been strong in that aspect. I'm so weak I can't carry a tune in that department. My knees get soft, and I want to fall to the floor.

A temptation is an act that looks appealing to an individual. It
is usually used to describe acts with negative connotations and as
such, tends to lead a person to regret such actions, for various reasons: legal, social, psychological (including feeling guilt),
health, economic, etc. Temptation also describes the coaxing or
inducing a person into committing such an act, by manipulation or
otherwise of curiosity, desire or fear of loss.

But for the first time in my life. I am strong. I face temptation head on, and I tell it. I am not weak. You will not conquer me this time. You will not make me think this is what I am, or who I am, or even who I want to be. I am happy with what I have and the temptation, is just that.. it's full of regret, anxiety, depression, all the things I need no more of. So here I say it.. TEMPTATION BE GONE!! I am the one who is in control, and it is I who will make the decision to overcome. I am done with you. I'm happy with what I have, and the grass is NEVER greener...

The Rooster

Since we just celebrated the Chinese New Year, Ashley had been learning about it at school. She brought home a cheat sheet of the Chinese Animal Zodiac. She spent the evening studying it, and figuring out which animal each of us are.

She is a snake. I a Rooster, Lauryn is a Monkey, Logan a pig and Josh is a snake also. That was last week.

Tonight we were sitting down at dinner, and the Chinese Zodiac came up again. Ashley needed a refresher on what my Zodiac was. I told her I was a Rooster, and Josh piped up with "that's because your cocky." The conversation went a little something like this..

Josh: "That's right, your mom should be a Rooster, cause she's cocky".
Ashley: "What does cocky mean?"
Josh: "It means your big, and tough, and mean, and you know it."
Ashley: "Well, you should be a Rooster then."..




ahh, out of the mouths of babes.

The Toof Fairy.

It's a little late to sing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth".. but she's doing it anyway. Her first one on top became loose around Thanksgiving. She pulled and she tugged, and she wiggled with all her might. So much so, she even got in trouble for it at school. She tried convincing everyone she knew to pull it for her, to no avail, for weeks. Almost a month. She wanted to sing that song. It didn't work.  Two weeks ago, right after New Years, she spent the night at Grandma's, and since it was finally hanging by a thread, grandma grabbed some thread and pulled that puppy out.  The tooth fairy left her $5. I felt jipped. The tooth fairy at my house, left me 50 cents when I was a kid. I called Grandma's tooth fairy out on that one. She responded with "cost of living went up". The next day the left one was loose. Ashley was yet on another mission. She was determined to get that one out too, because she wanted more money. If you've ever met my kid, or ever read any of my blogs about her, she is obsessed with money. If she has a hobby, it's collecting money. In jars, in piggy banks, in the actual bank, in her purse, in her drawers. If she finds it in the dryer, it's hers and she stashes it. So getting that $5, gave her an itch that needed to be scratched. She needed that other tooth out for the money. Yesterday morning, it was really loose. I went to work, Josh stayed home with the kids yesterday using up another day of bereavement leave. I called home to check to make sure Ashley made it home ok, and he informed me that she came home with the tooth box. It's this little box the kids get when their teeth fall out at school. (whoever invented that must be a millionaire). When he informed me, I shuttered... CRAP. This tooth fairy has no money! Tomorrow is payday! Why couldn't she wait one more day!! But that's the story of my life. Always a day late, or a dollar short. 

Last night, I was getting the kids ready for bed after their bath. Ashley was being impatient and she wanted her tooth. She was afraid I was going to forget. (secretly, I was hoping she was, so I could hold off another night, she's a smart one!). I was trying to get Logan in to bed, so Josh grabbed the tooth box and helped her put it under her pillow. Sometime during the night, she came in to our bed. She wanted to cuddle with me. I wanted her to go back to bed, but I was too tired to fight it. She's been craving some mommy time, since the other two have been sick they've been getting more attention. So I let her stay, and we both drifted off in to an uncomfortable dreamland. 

She got up this morning, got ready for school, and it seemed like she had completely forgotten about her tooth. Until all of a sudden she darted for her bedroom, and came back with her big toothless grin. She said "She left me $5...ahh man, I was hoping for $15!" I told her she had some wishful thinking. Apparently another little girl in her class lost her two front teeth at the same time over Christmas Break and got $15. Are you freaking kidding me? I can't keep up with this local tooth fairy!  I thought getting $5 was more than enough. The Tooth Fairy who visited our house last night, left $5 more, which is more than I was planning to scrounge up to leave under the pillow! 

So we informed her that the tooth fairy leaves her as much as she thinks the teeth are worth to her, and that she needs to remember to brush as much as she's supposed too, so the Fairy will leave her more money for the tooth. She replied with "Ahh man!! I forgot to brush it before I put it under my pillow". I had to remind her that she needed to brush them BEFORE they fell out, not after, and she came back with "Well Josh takes his teeth out to brush them!".. 

How do you respond to that!? 

Fare Thee Well

Baby No More..

I knew it. I JUST knew it. I knew, the second I cut his hair off, and yes, those precious little curls, that my baby would be gone..


It's strange. His haircut has made him a completely different kid. Like Lauryn with her hearing, she's not the same quiet, loving kid. No she's more like an extremely opinionated, outspoken little girl now. Anyway, this blog is about Logan, not Lauryn.

His hair chopping session was great. I was getting tired of chasing him around the house trying to brush it to make him appear somewhat of a well taken care of child. Not like the ragamuffin he is.. =) I was getting tired of the snot in his bangs and then crusting to his head. I didn't want to get rid of the curls, but the last time we tried that, he ended up with a mullet.


A mullet that was somewhat unnoticeable to most, but to others, he somewhat resembled Joe Dirt in his younger years.





So I did it. Saturday, I took him in and said, I want it all chopped off. She showed me this super cute picture of a style that I really liked, where it was still kind of long on top, but short in the back, and it could be styled. Needless to say, that didn't happen. Logan was deathly afraid of the short little Asian woman coming at him with scissors in hand. He clung to me for dear life, and screamed like a banshee. A tone he's seemed to perfect lately.






See he wasn't happy.


He had to sit on my lap, and she just started chopping. I thought she knew what she was doing at first, but I think she was more worried about getting it over with than actually getting the style I wanted. Oh well. It's just hair right?
After a bit, he calmed down, and let her cut the rest of it.
But look at those curls, and how long it was in the back. WHAT WAS I THINKING??






And here he is all done..

My little man, now runs around the house screaming when he wants things, throwing fits, and has MUCH more attitude than he did before. I'm sure alot of it has to do with age, since he just hit the 18 month mark on Christmas. He's officially a waddler.. not an infant, and not quite toddler yet.. but man..
















Watch out world, he is baby no more..

Manners anyone?

I've never wanted to punch so many people in the face all at one time as I did last night. We went to Zoolights, and I imagine part of the chaos is because of the crazy weather we'd been having and so many people missed out attending during the actual season, and everyone thought it was the last night. Little do most people know that it's open until next weekend.. (just a little FYI). Anyway, it was the only night that all 3 of us, my mom, my sister and I, would be able to make it at the same time. So we went and took just the girls.

It was insane! People are so rude. Never mind you're trying to take a picture, I'm just going to walk right in front of you, and STOP. Or forget you have 2 little ones with you, I'm going to PUSH you out of the way and trample on your kids at the same time.

What happened to the days when vacationers, or sightseers, were actually encouraged to take a picture? Remember when people would OFFER to take a picture of your whole family for you, so the odd man out taking the picture wasn't always missing? I kid you not, last night, people were pushing people to get out of the way to get a picture in the infamous Zoolights Circle.



We didn't push anybody. We patiently waited our turn..and look, MOM IS MISSING!! Nobody offered to take our picture...

Then there were the kids that nobody paid attention too. Like the 12-13 year olds running around practically knocking my kid down on every turn. There was no real chance to stop and actually ENJOY looking at the lights with the kids, because the "big kids" were so busy rushing through and crowding everyone out of the way. It was so crowded.. I got whacked in the vajayjay (as Oprah would say) with a glow in the dark sword that made attack noises by some kid who was frantically swinging it this way and that. And all his dad said was "I TOLD YOU TO WATCH WHERE YOU WERE SWINGING THAT THING".. My mom made the comment, "he probably was watching where he was swinging it".. lol.

I have a LOT of patience. Sometimes too much. My sister on the other hand has NONE. She made a comment to my mom and I about the lady who practically stopped in the middle of our picture pose of the girls, and the lady turned around and stared at her. I thought we might have had WWF right there at the zoo. I was waiting for it, really, I was.

Seriously, I just don't know what happened to courtesy, manners, and being polite in public. No wonder the kids these days have none.. Their parents don't either!!!
We made it through the night though, no black eyes, bruises or missing teeth, (besides Ashley's of course).. so I guess it was alright. I think next year, we'll go on a Wednesday...