If only corporal punishment were legal. I've been feeling like that a lot these days. I sware, my kids would respect me a WHOLE lot more. I know as a child, I was deathly afraid of my dad's leather belt. And the switches in the back yard, that I might have to go pick myself for a good switching.. My kids on the other hand, they just laugh at me when I tell them they are gonna get a spanking. In fact, Lauryn laughed at me the other day after I spanked her.. and I hurt myself even more then I ever thought of hurting her. I don't spank my children often. It takes a lot for me to do that. I think there are times when it is needed. Mostly in my house, as a wake up call, when I've run out of every other option.. to let them know I mean business. Not that my business hurts, like I said.. It ALWAYS hurts me more.. physically!!
I went to a Mindful Parenting class, to learn how to better handle my children when I'm frustrated with them. To be more conscious of my parenting, and to find other ways at handling them, because, what I'm doing, just doesn't seem to be cutting it. At least with my middle child. And at most, it taught me to take deep breathes, and walk away if needed. My children are still very young, but they are SO DAMN SMART!
Lately, Lauryn has been giving me some SERIOUS attitude. Not the kind of attitude her sister has, with the drama, and the "valley girl" attitude. I keep trying to tell Ashley, that she lives in McCleary, and not "Cali".. but whatever. She thinks her tractors sexy. Lauryn on the other hand, has straight up attitude. I can't tell whether it's her birth sign, Scorpio, or just her stubborn-ness, that she gets from her father. A combination of both, or just that she's got some straight up evil in her. But the girl thinks she can do whatever the hell she wants! I know a lot of it, she's getting from her "new school".. but criminy. I don't know how much more I can take. Lately, when I tell her no, or tell her that she can't ride her bike down the driveway without an adult, or some other irrational thing I won't let her do, she straight up screams at me, and makes a hissing sound. I sometimes think she might be a little possessed... Or she'll tell me that she hates me, and she "doesn't like my attitude".. The attitude of telling her NO that is..
Like Friday evening for instance, I was driving home from picking the kids up at daycare. I had to go to Olympia to pay a bill directly after that. We didn't get to go home first. And Lauryn was MAD about it. She wanted to go home and ride her bike. She didn't like my attitude, at that moment.. So she took it upon herself to take her empty cup, and throw it at the back of my head!! I wasn't mad, I didn't even yell or scream, I simply sat there in awe, that my child had just done it. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I was mad, nor did I want her to know that I thought it even a little bit funny.. mostly because I couldn't believe she did it. (go ahead, laugh out loud a little, you know you think it's funny too)..
I turned around and told her that it was unacceptable that she did that, and explained to her how she could of hurt me, and made us get in a wreck, you know, the RATIONAL way, if there is such a thing as explaining something rationally to a 4 year old. But I tried anyway, and I informed her that she would be going to her room when we got home, so she could think about the way she was acting. She responded by telling me that she didn't like my attitude. Big surprise there, eh?
And today, she was being mouthy in the back seat. Most kids, will mouth off to one parent, and know that it's DEFINITELY not ok to do it to the other i.e. DAD. But not Lauryn. She's got BALLS! She sat there, and I don't even remember what she was saying, but she was really getting under Josh's skin. We then started to talk about how we could deal with such a thing.. It's not like we can pull her over and beat her. It's not like we can do ANYTHING. The words we are using, AREN'T working, the punishments we use AREN'T working.. nothing works. She just doesn't care. She's the boss. Well, she thinks she is anyway.. I just feel like I'm at my wits end with her. Every button of mine, she knows how to push.. and push, and push.
So all the while she's being mouthy in the back seat, and Josh asked her if she needed an "attitude adjustment" aka, a spanking.. She replied, " I don't want a spankin.. I'll tell on you, and you'll go to jail!" WTF!? She's 4!!!
What on earth are we going to do when she's 14~!!
And that goes to show you what kind of society we live in. One where parents are AFRAID to touch their kids, and make them show some damn respect. She's 4. How on earth, does she know about people going to jail for abusing their kids. And she's FAR from being abused.. lol. Spare the rod, spoil the child. yep, that's my kid..
I'm a young parent, but a pretty good one, if I don't say so myself. I'm really hoping it's just a phase she's going through, but Lord help me. My strong willed 2nd born child, I sware, is going to be the death of me.. If she doesn't send me to jail first..
Soooo much has happened since I've been gone...
4 years ago
3 comments:
Oh April! This cracked me up! Tatton used to stare me straight in the eyes (when he was two mind you) and say, "That didn't hurt. Do it harder." Lauryn sounds like she's gonna be a very cool woman. I think we could all use a little more feistyness sometimes.
I agree with Natalie April! Lauryn's going to be an AWESOME woman!! In the meantime..yikes...Sounds like you are doing all of the right things from a "parenting" perspective. Making sure she know's her boundaries, limits and clear and concise consequences..but GEEZ! What DO you do when those don't work!! Give her a hug and tell her you love her even when she's mad? I don't know!! Good luck!!
Thanks April for visiting my blog and all your awesome comments!!!!
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